Friday, September 16, 2005

Height Deficit

More than nine years had passed but I can still see vivid pictures flashing into my memories the very first day I entered a classroom with thirty-four total strangers of my age and one gigantic, priest-like teacher. I was like a twelve year old burgeoning teenage obscured in a body of an eight-year-old innocent, impish and subservient kid. Extremely big to be a grade two pupil but was too small to be a high school student. And like what majority would say “Parang inutusan lang bumili ng suka.” Alright, I was known as one of the smallest species in the tribe of I-Newton (my high school year level and section). I was one of the cutest and young-looking novices in our class, so to speak (That sounds better, don’t you think?).

Because of this apparent fact, a lot of insecurities were eating me up. There were numerous moments in the past that I would ask myself why God created me small? Did He even think that when I turn twenty-five I might bump into five feet-ten inches tower creature, which I have not seen for nine years, and would probably say to me “Gosh! You look like the same person I knew except that you have bigger boobs (as if).”? Ouchhh!!! Well, this fact would not be so painful if I didn’t notice my classmates and friends growing taller every year. If only I was able to stop the movement of the hands of the clock and discovered Growee vitamins and Cherryfer during my younger years, I could have been a living proof to these growth syrup and food supplement.

Additional to my nuisance, when I was in my senior year in high school there was one incident that I would never forget. I was walking with my friend inside the school campus when someone tapped the back of my chum and told her in a serious fascia and an arrogant tone, “ate, ate tignan mo ko Grade Five pa lang ako mas matangkad pa ko sa kanya…” At that moment, I wished I could freeze all the living mortals in the world so no one could convict me to a crime that I just did (of course, there is a little exaggeration on that part). Well, that was just one of the most excruciating episodes of my teenage years. Now that I’m twenty-one years old, I still encounter almost same occurrence one after another, but this time with more forbearance on my part.

But of course, life isn’t so bad at all. Amidst all the rudeness and inequality of our society, is the opportunity to live like a child without having to worry about the image I create. I can always go to the playground, feel the afternoon breeze on the swing and do some silly acts with my ten-year old brother while handling a cone of chocolate-flavored ice cream in my right hand. For sure, most of us were able to experience the same thing during our younger years wherein we don’t mind if the Philippine president is facing crucial accusations or he/she is being appreciated in SWS survey. On my part, bringing back my childhood memories is definitely an easy thing to do. Although at times it’s hard to watch a PG-18 movie in theaters, otherwise I can catch it on a tv premiere or VCD.

Such things had insulted me but why should I? Looking back from those unpleasant events caused by my frustrating height, I have realized that my life is not that miserable as I thought. Actually, not everything in this world has been taken away from me. I am blessed with a loving family, comfortable shelter, sufficient education, good health, supportive friends and a strong sight of what it was like to be young.

Indeed, my life has become more challenging and happier because of the so called “Height Deficit.”

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